Mmm. I feel like I've wasted today really... I'll just say it's all been about the rest and recuperation or something. It's around half one in the morning (of the 14th, meh), and I am sitting in the living room watching the music channels, as my parents are at a wedding in Warwickshire. Woo. I've reached that point where I'm too tired to go to bed, much like yesterday.
And so today I have bathed, read a chapter of Power, Sex, Suicide, eaten a sandwich, brownies and chocolate, decided on a college to apply for at Durham Uni (Trevelyan's my choice), and written a tiny bit more of my personal statement. I have a copy of Pauls, which makes me hate him, as he has so much good stuff on it, but at the same time it comes across as really pretentious because he's decided to be so verbose... that was an example. He's too wordy. No one likes a smart arse. Which is why mine is going to be simple, but good - that is if it ever gets written. 32 days until the deadline! And then technically, I won't have to worry about it that much anymore... Sure. I'm likely to be on UCAS every day frantically checking the status of my application.
Tomorrow will have to be more productive, as I actually have quite a bit of work to be doing. And I've decided I will go and see the bursar about the cleaning job at school after hours. I'm off to bed, as Britneys just arrived on MTV (I'm a Slave 4 U), no thankyou.
13/09/2008
12/09/2008
12/09/08
Here endeth the first full week of term. Mighty tired I am - gym in my free today, and yesterday after school with Steph and Alex (who is very good at motivating me, as we cycled and I cycled behind him with a nice view of his... :) ). Lots of work to be done this weekend, and I realised I've forgotten to make any plans, which isn't that fun - and I'm home all alone tomorrow night as the parents are off to some wedding. I really should've invited people over, but I think Ruth is already having the girls over at hers so I'm just going to have a quiet night.
So yeahh I've regressed to socially inept again. I've just been so busy with schoolwork and distracting myself with the gym that I haven't really been focusing on people. Though I did help Rose today with some revision - she did badly in one of the exams so is retaking it in January and I am giving her chemistry lessons. I am a very good friend sometimes.
Trying to read Pride & Prejudice. I quite like it, but I'm not very good at finishing books that I start, I generally get distracted by another book before I can finish. eg. I still have The Other Boleyn Girl and Power, Sex, Suicide on the go... I WILL finish them!
Oh and I have blisters from rowing in the gym! I'm working hard. Plus I am terrible at rowing and I really want to improve, but blisters hurt! I will have arms and shoulders one day... one day. I think I might ask James to help me as he seemed really enthusiastic about me exercising and was telling me how easily I could get a six pack - I can't see it so far! ... I'll just pretend.
So yeahh I've regressed to socially inept again. I've just been so busy with schoolwork and distracting myself with the gym that I haven't really been focusing on people. Though I did help Rose today with some revision - she did badly in one of the exams so is retaking it in January and I am giving her chemistry lessons. I am a very good friend sometimes.
Trying to read Pride & Prejudice. I quite like it, but I'm not very good at finishing books that I start, I generally get distracted by another book before I can finish. eg. I still have The Other Boleyn Girl and Power, Sex, Suicide on the go... I WILL finish them!
Oh and I have blisters from rowing in the gym! I'm working hard. Plus I am terrible at rowing and I really want to improve, but blisters hurt! I will have arms and shoulders one day... one day. I think I might ask James to help me as he seemed really enthusiastic about me exercising and was telling me how easily I could get a six pack - I can't see it so far! ... I'll just pretend.
06/09/2008
10/09/08
Well it's been a little while again. I have no idea what I did last weekend. Which is a little scary. Premature Brain Death, anyone? (probably not a real condition, but no one would settle for less) I do remember having lunch with Lizzie and Alice which was alright. I love love hate love the gym at school - it officially rocks, I went during sport today which has left me feeling a little dead but I'm not used to all this crazy exercise! I am feeling much better about school work and life in general at the moment... I am in control and all powerful etc etc
Subjects are being managed - yes, I handed in a history coursework draft! (1200 words, expected to be 3000 words, better than nothing) and with the gym on the go, my life is complete... ish. I first went in my free on Friday, and Will was there which just made me chuckle and I was like 'I'm not going to leave, it's going to be great', in my head of course, but its verily awesome. I suck at the cross trainer, am afraid of the weights, and spend most of the time on the cycling machine, but who cares. But then I remember seeing ____'s bare hot ass last year in the changing rooms, and he is like a European cycling champion or something (hence not naming him at all), so I'll cycle my ass off until it's as hot as his. Mmmm naked cycling champion. Ahh memories.
I'll eventually finish my personal statement for uni - I made a start, which is awesome, but I read my sisters statement and the reference she got from school and they are just too good. Damn her! But I am just happy at the moment that I am keeping on top of life in general. :)
Subjects are being managed - yes, I handed in a history coursework draft! (1200 words, expected to be 3000 words, better than nothing) and with the gym on the go, my life is complete... ish. I first went in my free on Friday, and Will was there which just made me chuckle and I was like 'I'm not going to leave, it's going to be great', in my head of course, but its verily awesome. I suck at the cross trainer, am afraid of the weights, and spend most of the time on the cycling machine, but who cares. But then I remember seeing ____'s bare hot ass last year in the changing rooms, and he is like a European cycling champion or something (hence not naming him at all), so I'll cycle my ass off until it's as hot as his. Mmmm naked cycling champion. Ahh memories.
I'll eventually finish my personal statement for uni - I made a start, which is awesome, but I read my sisters statement and the reference she got from school and they are just too good. Damn her! But I am just happy at the moment that I am keeping on top of life in general. :)
04/09/2008
04/09/08
I cannot believe I forgot about posting yesterday - however I was truly knackered after the first day of school and my mind was on other things. So, my last first day at school, was pretty average. The year below who are sharing the common room are incredibly annoying, mainly because there are so many of them cohabiting the space with us, they are very noisy, and I don't actually know any of their names, let alone enough about them to strike up a friendly conversation. So basically the first day consisted of milling about in the common room, a history lesson, more milling in the common room and PE (eurgh!).
History was fine as luckily there was no mention of coursework, but the department is laying down some new 'tough rules'... we'll see how they turn out. And as for PE, it turned out much better than expected - I ended up doing badminton, which just meant pissing about with a few of the girls for an hour, but then, the shock and highlight of my day, getting changed afterwards. Now I am used to the guys in the changing rooms by now that I have no need to ogle them (it must be said, a few of the guys in my year have buffed up over the summer), but we now have PE with the year below. In particular, I was shocked to see someone using the school showers - as we do sport at the end of the day, most people just shower when they get home. And this guy, in the year below, was in the showers in a tiny pair of blue boxers which were getting wet as he stood under them, had the fittest body I have ever seen and I was overwhelmed. Recon so far: his name is Jack, he's in my house at school so we register together, he's new to the school and I'm thinking he's 100% straight. But oh my god, mmmm. I'm too nervous to say hello to him.
Back to today at school then, I had all four of my subjects with no free periods, which was painful, but I have made it through the day and this fills me with confidence - I will manage to do 4 A-levels this year! However as of today, the history coursework first draft is due in on Monday, and I have little odds and ends of work to do. It'll be fine. Tomorrow I am going to use the new school 'fitness room' in my free period, if possible, which is a little bit scary as I hate the gym environment, but there's only one way to gain muscle (if I ignore the option of steroids)! There's plenty more to be said of school but I'll let it out in dribs and drabs over the weekend.
History was fine as luckily there was no mention of coursework, but the department is laying down some new 'tough rules'... we'll see how they turn out. And as for PE, it turned out much better than expected - I ended up doing badminton, which just meant pissing about with a few of the girls for an hour, but then, the shock and highlight of my day, getting changed afterwards. Now I am used to the guys in the changing rooms by now that I have no need to ogle them (it must be said, a few of the guys in my year have buffed up over the summer), but we now have PE with the year below. In particular, I was shocked to see someone using the school showers - as we do sport at the end of the day, most people just shower when they get home. And this guy, in the year below, was in the showers in a tiny pair of blue boxers which were getting wet as he stood under them, had the fittest body I have ever seen and I was overwhelmed. Recon so far: his name is Jack, he's in my house at school so we register together, he's new to the school and I'm thinking he's 100% straight. But oh my god, mmmm. I'm too nervous to say hello to him.
Back to today at school then, I had all four of my subjects with no free periods, which was painful, but I have made it through the day and this fills me with confidence - I will manage to do 4 A-levels this year! However as of today, the history coursework first draft is due in on Monday, and I have little odds and ends of work to do. It'll be fine. Tomorrow I am going to use the new school 'fitness room' in my free period, if possible, which is a little bit scary as I hate the gym environment, but there's only one way to gain muscle (if I ignore the option of steroids)! There's plenty more to be said of school but I'll let it out in dribs and drabs over the weekend.
02/09/2008
02/09/08
So shortly after I blogged yesterday I was invited over to Lizzie's house for the evening, with Louisa, and I accepted the offer and had a merry time making brownies and cookies, watching Hollyoaks and playing scrabble. Which is a lot more fun than it sounds, even if it isn't exactly 'wild'. But the main point is it cheered me up and took my mind off Will and now I am in a very 'fuck him, if he's not going to even attempt to be my friend then I can't be fucking bothered' mood. I am sure by the end of the day tomorrow my sad/happy meter will have swung back to sad and I will be moping over him again, but that can't be helped.
Because of course folks, I am returning to school tomorrow - the last first day is here and it is weird. I still feel like I'm eleven. In fact, in about eight hours I will be at school, getting my timetable, being lectured at about how I've had eight weeks and have had plenty of time to start my personal statement/history coursework, and general fun and games along those lines. I am actually quite nervous, and although I've been looking forward to it for a while, I would happily stay in bed and read a book tomorrow. Of course, Will is not in any of my classes, but he'll still be in and around the common room. I think somehow it'd be really nice if I didn't see him at all - because once I see him I can't stop thinking about him... and about how he will look at everyone apart from me. But I'll chat with everyone else and it'll be all good and dandy.
Today has been spent doing the 'BIG CLEAN', which involves... cleaning. My room is now spotless, no stone has been left unturned in my quest to remove rubbish. Cupboards have been sorted, school bags have been packed, biology work has been finished off haphazardly, and I ate fried eggs and beans on toast for lunch - now I don't usually mention what I eat on here but I hadn't made this in so long and I cooked it just right and it was bloody gorgeous in that dirty fry up way. (Yes, I realise it wasn't a full fry up, just the bits I like the most). Yum. I'm off to sleep, and then to school... eeeeek!
Because of course folks, I am returning to school tomorrow - the last first day is here and it is weird. I still feel like I'm eleven. In fact, in about eight hours I will be at school, getting my timetable, being lectured at about how I've had eight weeks and have had plenty of time to start my personal statement/history coursework, and general fun and games along those lines. I am actually quite nervous, and although I've been looking forward to it for a while, I would happily stay in bed and read a book tomorrow. Of course, Will is not in any of my classes, but he'll still be in and around the common room. I think somehow it'd be really nice if I didn't see him at all - because once I see him I can't stop thinking about him... and about how he will look at everyone apart from me. But I'll chat with everyone else and it'll be all good and dandy.
Today has been spent doing the 'BIG CLEAN', which involves... cleaning. My room is now spotless, no stone has been left unturned in my quest to remove rubbish. Cupboards have been sorted, school bags have been packed, biology work has been finished off haphazardly, and I ate fried eggs and beans on toast for lunch - now I don't usually mention what I eat on here but I hadn't made this in so long and I cooked it just right and it was bloody gorgeous in that dirty fry up way. (Yes, I realise it wasn't a full fry up, just the bits I like the most). Yum. I'm off to sleep, and then to school... eeeeek!
01/09/2008
01/09/08
I am appalled. It is September! Summer is OVER. EURGH. Well, certainly drawing to a close. This morning I have popped into school to register for my final year - and I will be carrying on with all four of my A-levels. Hmm. Hopefully it will all be well and good. Had to go back to school after I'd left as Ginny text me asking me to go and do her options for her, as she had been to school and forgotten to hand in the form! Silly Billy.
I saw pretty much everyone at school today, including Will, but he didn't speak to me/look at me. And I figured out we're not in the same chemistry set next year either, so I will no longer have any close contact with him at school. Which I figured was okay until I started walking out of school and saw Alice waiting for her boyfriend in his car, started chatting to her and she said I was looking really down... and I realised I was really upset about Will, as its been 8 months now and still theres no peace treaty signed, and I've been thinking about him lots for the last few days and I just need him back as my friend again. But it's not happening. Alex is in my history set though :) so I'm gonna embark on that friendship methinks.
On a lighter note, got back from Marie's house, where I had an awesome holiday of sorts, went to the beach and paddled in the sea, after a rather iffy crab sandwich, and climbed the hundred and ninety nine steps to the abbey at the top of the town we were visiting. I love going to hers and getting away from where I live. Yorkshire is just a nicer place to be.
Just repotted Bert and Ernie. They've grown lots. Oh my cotton plant children, how I love ye. Got to clean my horrendous room before school starts on Wednesday as I don't think a good learning environment has so much stuff on the floor you cant see the carpet.
I saw pretty much everyone at school today, including Will, but he didn't speak to me/look at me. And I figured out we're not in the same chemistry set next year either, so I will no longer have any close contact with him at school. Which I figured was okay until I started walking out of school and saw Alice waiting for her boyfriend in his car, started chatting to her and she said I was looking really down... and I realised I was really upset about Will, as its been 8 months now and still theres no peace treaty signed, and I've been thinking about him lots for the last few days and I just need him back as my friend again. But it's not happening. Alex is in my history set though :) so I'm gonna embark on that friendship methinks.
On a lighter note, got back from Marie's house, where I had an awesome holiday of sorts, went to the beach and paddled in the sea, after a rather iffy crab sandwich, and climbed the hundred and ninety nine steps to the abbey at the top of the town we were visiting. I love going to hers and getting away from where I live. Yorkshire is just a nicer place to be.
Just repotted Bert and Ernie. They've grown lots. Oh my cotton plant children, how I love ye. Got to clean my horrendous room before school starts on Wednesday as I don't think a good learning environment has so much stuff on the floor you cant see the carpet.
28/08/2008
28/08/08
And after a short blogging break, I return. Nothing fantastic has been happening, and I am looking vastly forward to the return of school - people to see, things to do, general merriment to be had. I can't believe it's going to be the final year. Scaryscaryscary. I've decided I will carry on with English Language if I can, try to do four, if I doesn't fit into the timetable I'll do a Maths AS level, but I am really not looking forward to that. Need to write my personal statement. Probably by Wednesday, as we'll have a Tutor Period on the first day back in which I'll be harrassed by many teachers for a copy of it. Need to see if I should write a Biology article for the school magazine. And if I can do some after school cleaning for a bit of cash.
On that note, handed in an application form for a job as a sales assistant in a card shop in the town centre - it'd be nice to get it, but about 60 million people are applying as it's the only job going in town at the moment. I was in town today again with Beth, which was goood as she got back from Reading festival the other day but we hadn't caught up yet. So we did, and I tried to force some uni decisions out of her, we wandered and went to all the shops looking for jobs (even though she already has one), I exchanged a CD in HMV for a £15 gift card, etc etc, all well and good. We bumped into a few people from school - Soph, Cuzza and their friends who are twins (hot twins in a kind of 'royal family look' way), which was alright for a bit of a catch up. Apparently Simon (who used to go to our school) failed his exams and is repeating this year - a position I would never want to be in, but I feel really bad for him as he's wanted to be a physiotherapist since forever and he really needs to get the grades in his subjects. We bumped into Steve and a few of his friends as well, which was nice but I think Steve's afraid to go into town with me, just the two of us, because of the developing gay stigma. Hmm. He looked different since I'd last seen him. The times they are a-changing, I guess.
Rose and Lizzie seem to be bonding quite a lot recently, and I think it a bit odd really (because our year used to be split into the 'popular' girls and the 'non-popular' girls), and it's kind of annoying because in a way I liked having two sets of friends to mingle with and bitch about the other group with, and it's just getting more difficult to do this. However Louisa is still there to bitch at if I really need to get something off my chest - on this note I am going to be a nicer person this year. Maybe it will induce Will to talk to me, I don't know. Better than being a bastard to all, I suppose.
So I'm off to Marie's house tomorrow, which I am very happy about, but it means I won't be blogging for a day or two, I guess. But it will involve a trip to the seaside, and just general sibling goodness really. Which also serves as a nice coda on the summer holidays, and a final deep breath of relaxation before plunging back into school and trying not to pee in the pool. (Metaphorically speaking of course. Our school lacks a pool. Has a rugby pitch though. Great..)
On that note, handed in an application form for a job as a sales assistant in a card shop in the town centre - it'd be nice to get it, but about 60 million people are applying as it's the only job going in town at the moment. I was in town today again with Beth, which was goood as she got back from Reading festival the other day but we hadn't caught up yet. So we did, and I tried to force some uni decisions out of her, we wandered and went to all the shops looking for jobs (even though she already has one), I exchanged a CD in HMV for a £15 gift card, etc etc, all well and good. We bumped into a few people from school - Soph, Cuzza and their friends who are twins (hot twins in a kind of 'royal family look' way), which was alright for a bit of a catch up. Apparently Simon (who used to go to our school) failed his exams and is repeating this year - a position I would never want to be in, but I feel really bad for him as he's wanted to be a physiotherapist since forever and he really needs to get the grades in his subjects. We bumped into Steve and a few of his friends as well, which was nice but I think Steve's afraid to go into town with me, just the two of us, because of the developing gay stigma. Hmm. He looked different since I'd last seen him. The times they are a-changing, I guess.
Rose and Lizzie seem to be bonding quite a lot recently, and I think it a bit odd really (because our year used to be split into the 'popular' girls and the 'non-popular' girls), and it's kind of annoying because in a way I liked having two sets of friends to mingle with and bitch about the other group with, and it's just getting more difficult to do this. However Louisa is still there to bitch at if I really need to get something off my chest - on this note I am going to be a nicer person this year. Maybe it will induce Will to talk to me, I don't know. Better than being a bastard to all, I suppose.
So I'm off to Marie's house tomorrow, which I am very happy about, but it means I won't be blogging for a day or two, I guess. But it will involve a trip to the seaside, and just general sibling goodness really. Which also serves as a nice coda on the summer holidays, and a final deep breath of relaxation before plunging back into school and trying not to pee in the pool. (Metaphorically speaking of course. Our school lacks a pool. Has a rugby pitch though. Great..)
22/08/2008
20/08/2008
20/08/08
Mmm. Quite a long day. Was woken up early this morning to be told by my mother that she was going to work but my cousin Anna May from Ireland would be here with my grandad in about half an hour to do some hotel booking on the web. So I sprang lithely out of bed and went for a bath (shower currently broken), and five minutes later I hear the front door open - so half an hour was a little off as an estimate. An interesting start to the day anyway.
Beth's off to Reading early tomorrow morning - I spent the last half an hour on msn giving her lots of general advice a parent would give... no drugs, no unprotected sex, padlock tent even when sleeping in it, stay with boyfriend at all times, run away at first sign of danger. I'm quite the caring worrying friend. Now I have few left around!
For the rest of the day, I rediscovered old music on my computer (and sang along a lot), read some more Power, Sex, Suicide, put my beautiful dividers into use, and watched tv. I really want Louisa back from her hols, and I really want to see everyone at school again!
Beth's off to Reading early tomorrow morning - I spent the last half an hour on msn giving her lots of general advice a parent would give... no drugs, no unprotected sex, padlock tent even when sleeping in it, stay with boyfriend at all times, run away at first sign of danger. I'm quite the caring worrying friend. Now I have few left around!
For the rest of the day, I rediscovered old music on my computer (and sang along a lot), read some more Power, Sex, Suicide, put my beautiful dividers into use, and watched tv. I really want Louisa back from her hols, and I really want to see everyone at school again!
19/08/2008
19/08/08
I've suddenly realised typing the date into the blog title has helped me keep track of time - usually in the holidays I lose track of time and before I know it another week has disappeared. Woo for blog titles!
Town today was nice. Met Beth and bought some folders and dividers (WOO - hahaha) and renewed some library books (WOO - I'm not dull, honest) and had a 'White Swan' (white hot chocolate) in a local coffee shop. We also ran into Abbie and Lizzie on our travels, which was very interesting, but a bit annoying as I feel like whenever I run into Abbie I am always looking terrible.. as I was only meeting Beth I hadn't really paid attention to my appearance, and I realise now that I looked like a chav-cum-druggie. Joy. But I was excited about this book I had bought in Exeter the day before and showed it off to show I am just weird, not drugged up.
Took a trip with Beth to the Family Planning Clinic... which on pondering is more about preventing families than planning them! She took agesss and I was very bored, but she did give me a condom for waiting which was nice of her, I suppose. And she was offered a chlymidia (spelling?!) test whilst there but decided against it, even though I said she should get it done. Just to be on the safe side. No one likes the STD-ridden. We sat in the park and had chips for dinner though, which was nice - raining like there was no tomorrow, but we sat in a little shelter thing and discussed what exactly she was going to do with her life.
And Alice is off on holiday tomorrow as well, and Rose is going away in a week - all my people are leaving me! It's dead annoying, and I can't remember when Louisa gets back so I might be amusing myself for a while. I realised that I am bumming work so much because I am 'taking pleasure in the little things', as I have no big things to take pleasure in, like a person, and I am wondering if this will change. Or if I should just get a hamster, call it Nigel, and live in my room permanently. (Also, 'Power, Sex, Suicide' is a little thing, a book, which I am bumming. It's about biology, so you probably shouldn't act on this recommendation.)
Town today was nice. Met Beth and bought some folders and dividers (WOO - hahaha) and renewed some library books (WOO - I'm not dull, honest) and had a 'White Swan' (white hot chocolate) in a local coffee shop. We also ran into Abbie and Lizzie on our travels, which was very interesting, but a bit annoying as I feel like whenever I run into Abbie I am always looking terrible.. as I was only meeting Beth I hadn't really paid attention to my appearance, and I realise now that I looked like a chav-cum-druggie. Joy. But I was excited about this book I had bought in Exeter the day before and showed it off to show I am just weird, not drugged up.
Took a trip with Beth to the Family Planning Clinic... which on pondering is more about preventing families than planning them! She took agesss and I was very bored, but she did give me a condom for waiting which was nice of her, I suppose. And she was offered a chlymidia (spelling?!) test whilst there but decided against it, even though I said she should get it done. Just to be on the safe side. No one likes the STD-ridden. We sat in the park and had chips for dinner though, which was nice - raining like there was no tomorrow, but we sat in a little shelter thing and discussed what exactly she was going to do with her life.
And Alice is off on holiday tomorrow as well, and Rose is going away in a week - all my people are leaving me! It's dead annoying, and I can't remember when Louisa gets back so I might be amusing myself for a while. I realised that I am bumming work so much because I am 'taking pleasure in the little things', as I have no big things to take pleasure in, like a person, and I am wondering if this will change. Or if I should just get a hamster, call it Nigel, and live in my room permanently. (Also, 'Power, Sex, Suicide' is a little thing, a book, which I am bumming. It's about biology, so you probably shouldn't act on this recommendation.)
18/08/2008
18/08/08
Well Exeter was very... wet, to say the least. Hypothermia was a definite possibility after wandering the town centre in the rain for four hours, and taking a stroll by the quay. Uni looked nice enough though, campus was all very green, generally just attempting to hide the horrible 1960s buildings, which I have to say it has done more successfully than York.
So Lizzie has decided that, she too, will apply to Oxford. No! Not another person in the race! It will be so shit if she gets a place and I do not, I will most probably cry. At least she's not applying for the same course as me, so that makes it a little bit better, but it's a bit like - oh come steal my dream then, and run with it so you and Will can go off to Oxford together and fall in love in the Bodleian Library and get married and have children and be happy. How very, very annoying it is. And worst of all she is expecting me to help her with her personal statement and lend her subject books and stuff, and I would like to go NO, I AM NOT HELPING, but I can't because I already am a bit of a bitch to her and it might push her over the edge.
Will has decided he isn't going to apply for Oxford anymore though. This is quite frankly bollocks, he is depressed because he got a B and he thinks all chances of ever getting in are completely out of the window, which simply isn't true. He is Head of School, a House Captain, does pretty much every sport, has done work experience in engineering (what he wants to do at uni), has his Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award and he did Young Enterprise! His personal statement and reference are going to be the best, ever! Mine will pale in comparison, as I am planning to go on and on about how much I love biology and list books I've read and hope my lack of extra-curriculars is ignored.
Because I really want to get into Oxford, and I am going to get depressed if I don't get in - which won't be beneficial as I will get the rejection/acceptance letter right before the January exams, so if I get rejected I will lose sight of why I am taking the exams in the first place. I think Imperial College London is my second choice - if I don't get into Oxford, hopefully they will let me in and I can still seem impressive and clever! Sighh. It's in my thoughts all the time, and I won't be able to stand people at school getting in if I don't.
As I've been up for about 17 hours now, I'm off to bed. Meeting Beth tomorrow before she goes to Reading Festival, and I am left completely alone (Louisa is in Lanzarote). Hmm. Oh but I did manage today to get Rose all excited about the start of term and revising and working hard etc., which is no small feat. Woo, working hard!
So Lizzie has decided that, she too, will apply to Oxford. No! Not another person in the race! It will be so shit if she gets a place and I do not, I will most probably cry. At least she's not applying for the same course as me, so that makes it a little bit better, but it's a bit like - oh come steal my dream then, and run with it so you and Will can go off to Oxford together and fall in love in the Bodleian Library and get married and have children and be happy. How very, very annoying it is. And worst of all she is expecting me to help her with her personal statement and lend her subject books and stuff, and I would like to go NO, I AM NOT HELPING, but I can't because I already am a bit of a bitch to her and it might push her over the edge.
Will has decided he isn't going to apply for Oxford anymore though. This is quite frankly bollocks, he is depressed because he got a B and he thinks all chances of ever getting in are completely out of the window, which simply isn't true. He is Head of School, a House Captain, does pretty much every sport, has done work experience in engineering (what he wants to do at uni), has his Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award and he did Young Enterprise! His personal statement and reference are going to be the best, ever! Mine will pale in comparison, as I am planning to go on and on about how much I love biology and list books I've read and hope my lack of extra-curriculars is ignored.
Because I really want to get into Oxford, and I am going to get depressed if I don't get in - which won't be beneficial as I will get the rejection/acceptance letter right before the January exams, so if I get rejected I will lose sight of why I am taking the exams in the first place. I think Imperial College London is my second choice - if I don't get into Oxford, hopefully they will let me in and I can still seem impressive and clever! Sighh. It's in my thoughts all the time, and I won't be able to stand people at school getting in if I don't.
As I've been up for about 17 hours now, I'm off to bed. Meeting Beth tomorrow before she goes to Reading Festival, and I am left completely alone (Louisa is in Lanzarote). Hmm. Oh but I did manage today to get Rose all excited about the start of term and revising and working hard etc., which is no small feat. Woo, working hard!
17/08/2008
17/08/08
So the christening wasn't overly bad. Well basically it was awful and I didn't speak to anyone, but my dad came to the rescue and bailed us out about an hour into the 'buffet at the pub' bit, so we went off to another pub down the road, had a pint and went home, which meant I did, as predicted, manage to leave early! (Yayyy!)
I had a funny chat with Rose today - basically I wanted a rundown of her results so I could do the parental thing, which was good 'n' all, but then she told me there was a rumour going around about me lying about going somewhere with Will when I hadn't gone with him at all (and I never said I did!). Basically the whole rumour started because Alice wasn't listening properly, however it now seems that people see me as a bit bit creepy and psycho, because of a completely untrue rumour! I had to do some serious damage control. For those of you not in the know on damage control, it involves texting/msn-ing/calling everyone you know and going ITS NOT TRUE I AM NOT A CREEPY PSYCHO. Which to be honest does nothing for one's sanity.
But then the usual, but also unusual thing with Rose happened. We're on msn, it's late in the evening, so as you do, you start talking about her latest sexual escapade (she teabagged Harris, amongst other things, at the party I spent sleeping by, not with, Alex), and from this involves a need for me to write her an erotic tale about her up and coming cruise. I'm very good at these kind of things, thankyou very much English Language AS-level. So I did that and in the end I get really horny and it's completely ridiculous cos I'm like maybe I should pop over sometime, and really, although I have gone down that road with her (we've been on and off fuck buddies since year 10 - no fucking I must add, my limit so far has been oral sex), lately, because of Will and Alex and boys in general rather than girls, I haven't really been up for it. And the truth is if she presented herself naked to me now I still wouldn't fancy it... or even get hard. So I don't know why I suggest all these sexual things to her. I am a bit of an idiot sometimes.
Well I am off to Exeter for a daytrip/look at the uni in about 5.5hrs so I really need to get some sleep. God I am going to be tired tomorrow.
I had a funny chat with Rose today - basically I wanted a rundown of her results so I could do the parental thing, which was good 'n' all, but then she told me there was a rumour going around about me lying about going somewhere with Will when I hadn't gone with him at all (and I never said I did!). Basically the whole rumour started because Alice wasn't listening properly, however it now seems that people see me as a bit bit creepy and psycho, because of a completely untrue rumour! I had to do some serious damage control. For those of you not in the know on damage control, it involves texting/msn-ing/calling everyone you know and going ITS NOT TRUE I AM NOT A CREEPY PSYCHO. Which to be honest does nothing for one's sanity.
But then the usual, but also unusual thing with Rose happened. We're on msn, it's late in the evening, so as you do, you start talking about her latest sexual escapade (she teabagged Harris, amongst other things, at the party I spent sleeping by, not with, Alex), and from this involves a need for me to write her an erotic tale about her up and coming cruise. I'm very good at these kind of things, thankyou very much English Language AS-level. So I did that and in the end I get really horny and it's completely ridiculous cos I'm like maybe I should pop over sometime, and really, although I have gone down that road with her (we've been on and off fuck buddies since year 10 - no fucking I must add, my limit so far has been oral sex), lately, because of Will and Alex and boys in general rather than girls, I haven't really been up for it. And the truth is if she presented herself naked to me now I still wouldn't fancy it... or even get hard. So I don't know why I suggest all these sexual things to her. I am a bit of an idiot sometimes.
Well I am off to Exeter for a daytrip/look at the uni in about 5.5hrs so I really need to get some sleep. God I am going to be tired tomorrow.
16/08/2008
16/08/08
Ahh yet another of those lazy days in bed... well not completely in bed. There was general about the house movement. Really haven't accomplished anything today at all, apart from perhaps work myself up into a state about the next lot of exams! Which is pretty shocking considering term isn't even underway yet...
Note to self: do not search the web for your exam dates for January and Summer 2009. It only makes you worry. (And I have every right to, my last exams consist of 6 hours worth of 3 subjects over 2 days) However, putting a positive spin on this, I realised this forward thinking and Hermione Granger-esque behaviour could only be a good thing, as I will not be shocked in April when the dates are given out by school, and I can plan far enough ahead to overcome the obstacle that is shitty exam planning by the exam boards.
Christening tomorrow. Great. Can I be bothered? No. Will I talk to any of my relatives? No. Will I try and get home early? Yes. To be honest I am more comfortable at home panicking about events that are 4-10 months away than in a room full of relatives, none of whom are remotely close to my age. Somebody remind me why I didn't go to V?!
It is weird that I still have exam anxiety on top of exam result euphoria. But Rose and Louisa are on holiday, Alex is at V, and Steve and Beth are both working lots, so I have no one to properly vent at! And I need Ruth to text me back so I can parent her about her results and encourage her/become her personal tutor next year. I vaguely saw CCDE on the master list but I am not entirely sure if that was her row of results or not... right, I've decided tomorrow will see the end to recluse week. I might even venture out to the library (like the daredevil I am!).
Note to self: do not search the web for your exam dates for January and Summer 2009. It only makes you worry. (And I have every right to, my last exams consist of 6 hours worth of 3 subjects over 2 days) However, putting a positive spin on this, I realised this forward thinking and Hermione Granger-esque behaviour could only be a good thing, as I will not be shocked in April when the dates are given out by school, and I can plan far enough ahead to overcome the obstacle that is shitty exam planning by the exam boards.
Christening tomorrow. Great. Can I be bothered? No. Will I talk to any of my relatives? No. Will I try and get home early? Yes. To be honest I am more comfortable at home panicking about events that are 4-10 months away than in a room full of relatives, none of whom are remotely close to my age. Somebody remind me why I didn't go to V?!
It is weird that I still have exam anxiety on top of exam result euphoria. But Rose and Louisa are on holiday, Alex is at V, and Steve and Beth are both working lots, so I have no one to properly vent at! And I need Ruth to text me back so I can parent her about her results and encourage her/become her personal tutor next year. I vaguely saw CCDE on the master list but I am not entirely sure if that was her row of results or not... right, I've decided tomorrow will see the end to recluse week. I might even venture out to the library (like the daredevil I am!).
15/08/2008
15/08/08
So posting has been absent for a few days, and here's why - exam results. The bane of my fucking life (I think I may have said this before, perhaps about something/someone else, but I do not care), and they persisted to haunt my dreams for days before they were released.
And I'm not even kidding about that. I dreamed I walked to school for results and got Gs and Es and Us and so many crap results I couldnt figure out what I'd actually got overall in each subject. And by Wednesday night I was just in collapse mode. I have not been so anxious about anything, ever. GCSE results panic was nothing in comparison. Which I am sure means that next year, A2 results, will cause a panic so huge that limbs will be lost, ships sunk, and general riotous behaviour will break out amongst the people.
So on Thursday morning I make the long, five minute walk up to school listening to This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers, to add a sense of motown to the eclipsing panic, and get my results from the deputy head. AAAA. GET THE FUCK IN. I was completely gobsmacked (eg. I folded up the paper to call my mum and then had to open it again just to make sure I hadn't read it incorrectly), and even though I'd got a C in Chemistry in January, I still managed to get an A overall. It was fantastic. Dr J (Chem teacher) was there and said well done to me, and I just went 'I GOT AN A' and waved my results at him, even though he already knew them.
I wasn't even hoping for all As. I mean the optimistic hope was AABB. No way could I have got an A in history after that abysmal exam - the one I didn't even finish and felt like having a breakdown in. But I did! And I got full marks in the Russia paper! The frigging paper of DEATH! (Admittedly it was the one I actually finished). I am still on a high even now, a day later. I am unstoppable. And I am going to kung-fu next year's work into submission.
Other people's results, just so I remember them (it's really hard to remember everyones results!) : Louisa - BCCD, Lizzie - AAAA, Steve - AABB, James - AAAB, Will - AAAB (ha!), Rose - BCCC, Beth - AAC.
And I'm not even kidding about that. I dreamed I walked to school for results and got Gs and Es and Us and so many crap results I couldnt figure out what I'd actually got overall in each subject. And by Wednesday night I was just in collapse mode. I have not been so anxious about anything, ever. GCSE results panic was nothing in comparison. Which I am sure means that next year, A2 results, will cause a panic so huge that limbs will be lost, ships sunk, and general riotous behaviour will break out amongst the people.
So on Thursday morning I make the long, five minute walk up to school listening to This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers, to add a sense of motown to the eclipsing panic, and get my results from the deputy head. AAAA. GET THE FUCK IN. I was completely gobsmacked (eg. I folded up the paper to call my mum and then had to open it again just to make sure I hadn't read it incorrectly), and even though I'd got a C in Chemistry in January, I still managed to get an A overall. It was fantastic. Dr J (Chem teacher) was there and said well done to me, and I just went 'I GOT AN A' and waved my results at him, even though he already knew them.
I wasn't even hoping for all As. I mean the optimistic hope was AABB. No way could I have got an A in history after that abysmal exam - the one I didn't even finish and felt like having a breakdown in. But I did! And I got full marks in the Russia paper! The frigging paper of DEATH! (Admittedly it was the one I actually finished). I am still on a high even now, a day later. I am unstoppable. And I am going to kung-fu next year's work into submission.
Other people's results, just so I remember them (it's really hard to remember everyones results!) : Louisa - BCCD, Lizzie - AAAA, Steve - AABB, James - AAAB, Will - AAAB (ha!), Rose - BCCC, Beth - AAC.
So went to town with Beth and her boyfriend after results and had celebratory hot chocolate... because we rock. And her boyfriend got scouted by Toni + Guy to be a model, which was really quite surreal. I suppose thats what happens if you stand in the town centre chatting long enough. So now I am free to enjoy the rest of my summer before my last year of school!
11/08/2008
11/08/08
Ok so I'm half an hour into Kevin McCloud's Big Town Plan and they still haven't actually done anything to Castleford. Bored Now. And the Darwin programme that was on beforehand was just publicity for Dawkin's Selfish Gene hypothesis and he just really annoys me still. I think this is why I don't watch TV very much. Olympics have been on the last few days, I like the swimming and the diving (synchronised tiny briefs, mmm), and that's pretty much the sum of my last few days. Recluse week is officially underway.
Went to bed at half 5 this morning and got up at around half 3 this afternoon, oh woe is my body clock (circadian rhythms anyone? ;D) and watched The Pursuit of Happyness, which is actually quite a nice predictable film. And I think I'm going to watch Coach Carter in a bit too. Gotta love films to pass the time - however I do need to go to sleep earlier and sort my clock out.
Last night, on msn... Louisa asked me 'what is going on between us?', and I replied with 'nothing that I know of'. To be honest it did come out of the blue, especially as lately I've been thinking about Alex instead of Will, let alone Louisa. Blargh! So we left it there because I had no idea what she was trying to say and it was 1am and that's really no time for a long discussion.
Perhaps worst of all (I don't know what the other bad things are...), results are on Thursday, which I am silently very down about and I wish they would just hurry up and happen so I can see what I have to do next year to get into uni, and how hard I'll have to plead to the headmaster so I can apply to Oxford. AABB is my optimistic hope, but realistically, it's not going to happen, and that's a little bit upsetting. Also the fact that 14/30 of last year's History class got a D or less is frightening me about my chances as well. AARGH! I'm going to get really depressed about my results, I can feel it. However, hopefully I will be invigorated to work so hard I melt and write a great personal statement and stuff... oh dear dear me.
Went to bed at half 5 this morning and got up at around half 3 this afternoon, oh woe is my body clock (circadian rhythms anyone? ;D) and watched The Pursuit of Happyness, which is actually quite a nice predictable film. And I think I'm going to watch Coach Carter in a bit too. Gotta love films to pass the time - however I do need to go to sleep earlier and sort my clock out.
Last night, on msn... Louisa asked me 'what is going on between us?', and I replied with 'nothing that I know of'. To be honest it did come out of the blue, especially as lately I've been thinking about Alex instead of Will, let alone Louisa. Blargh! So we left it there because I had no idea what she was trying to say and it was 1am and that's really no time for a long discussion.
Perhaps worst of all (I don't know what the other bad things are...), results are on Thursday, which I am silently very down about and I wish they would just hurry up and happen so I can see what I have to do next year to get into uni, and how hard I'll have to plead to the headmaster so I can apply to Oxford. AABB is my optimistic hope, but realistically, it's not going to happen, and that's a little bit upsetting. Also the fact that 14/30 of last year's History class got a D or less is frightening me about my chances as well. AARGH! I'm going to get really depressed about my results, I can feel it. However, hopefully I will be invigorated to work so hard I melt and write a great personal statement and stuff... oh dear dear me.
09/08/2008
09/08/08
Well I am very tired now, on the verge of sleep (which is good, as it means I'll be going to bed at a reasonable time for once!) Have been very tired today after Rose's party last night, basically just eaten ice cream and takeaway and watched movies since I returned - Wall-E and The Simpsons Movie, neither of which were anything special.
So Rose's party was a mixed affair. No Will to worry about apparently, as he is on holiday somewhere (I'm going to guess Cornwall), so it was a Will-free evening. Which meant I couldn't be like "SO YOURE NOT TALKING TO ME STILL" but I suppose that's a good thing. There weren't that many people there to begin with but by 10/11-ish it was better. And Alex was there, and he got a wee bit drunk on vodka and sprite (trust me, it was 9 parts vodka to 1 part sprite), but I did not rape him, so I am very proud. I was on the cider which got me tipsy enough and a tiny bit nauseous, but no vomit which is always good.
Hmm not really sure what to say happened. Rose got with Harris again (this time in her bed, rather than in a field), and I was kinda close with Alex cos we were sleeping on the floor next to each other, but Louisa, the prick, decided to move and put her pillow in between our legs which split us up! I was really pissed off to be honest. Not that anything was going to happen. But lying next to him and feeling his arm touching mine was like.. yeah I'd happily sleep with boys for the rest of my life. Seriously was so cute when he was sleeping. And he snored, which usually pisses me off, but I actually really liked it - surely a bad sign! Got the bus home afterwards this morning (with several of the partygoers including Alex, but he doesn't do speaking on buses. Eejit.) and also met Beth on the bus, which was really random but good cos it enabled us to have a tiny catch up of the previous night's events.
Went to Beth's on Wednesday night with Louisa which was pretty ace, we got some disposable barbecues from Sainsburys and had burgers and put up the tent in her garden (which is surrounded by farmland/arable fields, not some inner city patch of grass), and slept there! Me and Louisa sang along to songs on her iPod until about half 2 in the morning which was cool. Oh and I'd bought cheesecake in Sainsburys on a whim which I then had for breakfast and it was goood. But after Rose's last night, it means my week of going out and socialising and partying is over! Oh no! What am I going to do...?! It is true that I have never had as much alcohol in one week as this one just gone... shame on me!
And on a really random note, Alex told me Sam Round had herpes (hahaha!). How truthful this statement was is debatable. Who cares. And on another quite random note, I got bitten on the wrist by some kind of evil insect at Rose's house and its very itchy. Hmph.
So Rose's party was a mixed affair. No Will to worry about apparently, as he is on holiday somewhere (I'm going to guess Cornwall), so it was a Will-free evening. Which meant I couldn't be like "SO YOURE NOT TALKING TO ME STILL" but I suppose that's a good thing. There weren't that many people there to begin with but by 10/11-ish it was better. And Alex was there, and he got a wee bit drunk on vodka and sprite (trust me, it was 9 parts vodka to 1 part sprite), but I did not rape him, so I am very proud. I was on the cider which got me tipsy enough and a tiny bit nauseous, but no vomit which is always good.
Hmm not really sure what to say happened. Rose got with Harris again (this time in her bed, rather than in a field), and I was kinda close with Alex cos we were sleeping on the floor next to each other, but Louisa, the prick, decided to move and put her pillow in between our legs which split us up! I was really pissed off to be honest. Not that anything was going to happen. But lying next to him and feeling his arm touching mine was like.. yeah I'd happily sleep with boys for the rest of my life. Seriously was so cute when he was sleeping. And he snored, which usually pisses me off, but I actually really liked it - surely a bad sign! Got the bus home afterwards this morning (with several of the partygoers including Alex, but he doesn't do speaking on buses. Eejit.) and also met Beth on the bus, which was really random but good cos it enabled us to have a tiny catch up of the previous night's events.
Went to Beth's on Wednesday night with Louisa which was pretty ace, we got some disposable barbecues from Sainsburys and had burgers and put up the tent in her garden (which is surrounded by farmland/arable fields, not some inner city patch of grass), and slept there! Me and Louisa sang along to songs on her iPod until about half 2 in the morning which was cool. Oh and I'd bought cheesecake in Sainsburys on a whim which I then had for breakfast and it was goood. But after Rose's last night, it means my week of going out and socialising and partying is over! Oh no! What am I going to do...?! It is true that I have never had as much alcohol in one week as this one just gone... shame on me!
And on a really random note, Alex told me Sam Round had herpes (hahaha!). How truthful this statement was is debatable. Who cares. And on another quite random note, I got bitten on the wrist by some kind of evil insect at Rose's house and its very itchy. Hmph.
06/08/2008
06/08/08
Well I went to Rose's house last night for small gathering which was good fun (yay, going out of the house!). The other guests were Lizzie, Louisa, Alice and even Ruth for a few hours. We played Cluedo, Monopoly, watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show (much to Lizzie and Louisa's horror) and generally drank the night away. However I am now incredibly shattered, which bad because I have to meet Beth in about an hour for camping fun at hers - though we may not camp as the weather is iffy.
The one thing that really upset me though at Rose's was Lizzie constantly texting Will. It resulted in me being very bitter towards her when really I'm just bitter at Will. It infuriates me so because its been like... 11 days or something since I text him, so I presume I'm not getting a reply. Example of cattiness included: Lizzie - "Damn my phone doesn't have loughborough on predictive text", Me -"Does it have dickhead?". I was so very wraagh. And then I realised that I am actually really depressed all the time and realising this just makes me sadder, yet I still can't cry about anything. Even now with a full social calendar for a few days, I feel like absolute shit.
On the family front, Marie and Adam left yesterday, but I stayed at home instead of going to Rose's earlier on so I could say goodbye to her again. This is another thing that makes me unhappy. Jayne is still here until Friday but I will be out and about and therefore won't see much of her, which is probably for the best as she is writing a project that has to be due in soon so she can become a fully qualified chartered surveyor (and get a pay rise! wahey!).
I've just tried to fit in a few hours of catch up sleep into the day but it hasn't worked very well, I am now incredibly sleepy after waking up and Beth won't be happy if me and Louisa turn up this evening in a gormless state. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay awake for. Oh and also, on the bus back from Rose's this morning, I met my old friend (and even ex-girlfriend) Phoebe, which was quite awkward as I was sufficiently dead to prevent a good flow of conversation. She's in the summer show at the local theatre which I used to do, however this year's show sounded crap so I couldn't be bothered to audition for it. And the bus driver short changed me and had a go at me about how I should have flagged him down using my hand (I had actually been on the phone and turned the other way, and had no idea the bus was approaching), which really pissed me off, but he looked a bit of a skanky fellow so I let the 10p I was missing go. Such a kind soul.
The one thing that really upset me though at Rose's was Lizzie constantly texting Will. It resulted in me being very bitter towards her when really I'm just bitter at Will. It infuriates me so because its been like... 11 days or something since I text him, so I presume I'm not getting a reply. Example of cattiness included: Lizzie - "Damn my phone doesn't have loughborough on predictive text", Me -"Does it have dickhead?". I was so very wraagh. And then I realised that I am actually really depressed all the time and realising this just makes me sadder, yet I still can't cry about anything. Even now with a full social calendar for a few days, I feel like absolute shit.
On the family front, Marie and Adam left yesterday, but I stayed at home instead of going to Rose's earlier on so I could say goodbye to her again. This is another thing that makes me unhappy. Jayne is still here until Friday but I will be out and about and therefore won't see much of her, which is probably for the best as she is writing a project that has to be due in soon so she can become a fully qualified chartered surveyor (and get a pay rise! wahey!).
I've just tried to fit in a few hours of catch up sleep into the day but it hasn't worked very well, I am now incredibly sleepy after waking up and Beth won't be happy if me and Louisa turn up this evening in a gormless state. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay awake for. Oh and also, on the bus back from Rose's this morning, I met my old friend (and even ex-girlfriend) Phoebe, which was quite awkward as I was sufficiently dead to prevent a good flow of conversation. She's in the summer show at the local theatre which I used to do, however this year's show sounded crap so I couldn't be bothered to audition for it. And the bus driver short changed me and had a go at me about how I should have flagged him down using my hand (I had actually been on the phone and turned the other way, and had no idea the bus was approaching), which really pissed me off, but he looked a bit of a skanky fellow so I let the 10p I was missing go. Such a kind soul.
04/08/2008
04/08/08
Mmm so I think today was nicer than yesterday as it was more relaxed, and Jayne when she arrived was very personable to all (and Jayne and Marie acted like children as they do when they're together). Adam seemed more relaxed today too and we went out for dinner again this evening which was fine. I still wasn't very talkative which is a shame, especially if I don't see Marie again before she leaves tomorrow. However now that I've said goodbye I might feel a bit silly saying goodbye again (not to Marie, its just I did the whole shaking Adam's hand thing which just seems odd to repeat).
As tomorrow night I am going to stay at Rose's for her birthday with Lizzie and Louisa. Which should be great if I am feeling in the right sort of mood. Otherwise I'll just be a huge bitch and be very sad about Will and Marie leaving and all sorts really. And Lizzie wants to talk to Louisa about me for some reason... whatever. On another 'bright side of things' note, Alex will be going to Rose's proper party on Friday so I might feel him up a little bit because I haven't seen him in ages and my brain keeps doing it when it gets bored. :D And he said he'd bring me some booze... which means he wants me drunk - aha, how drunk do you reckon he'd have to be for anything to happen? VERY, I think the answer is. Or, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. Which is a bit harsher, but probably truer. If only he didn't look so gay in his msn display picture. Then there'd be no problem.
"innocent flirtation never hurt nobody" say Flamboyant Bella. Lies. All lies.
As tomorrow night I am going to stay at Rose's for her birthday with Lizzie and Louisa. Which should be great if I am feeling in the right sort of mood. Otherwise I'll just be a huge bitch and be very sad about Will and Marie leaving and all sorts really. And Lizzie wants to talk to Louisa about me for some reason... whatever. On another 'bright side of things' note, Alex will be going to Rose's proper party on Friday so I might feel him up a little bit because I haven't seen him in ages and my brain keeps doing it when it gets bored. :D And he said he'd bring me some booze... which means he wants me drunk - aha, how drunk do you reckon he'd have to be for anything to happen? VERY, I think the answer is. Or, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. Which is a bit harsher, but probably truer. If only he didn't look so gay in his msn display picture. Then there'd be no problem.
"innocent flirtation never hurt nobody" say Flamboyant Bella. Lies. All lies.
03/08/2008
03/08/08
Here endeth a long day where I really didn't do very much, if I'm honest. So it was the mother's birthday, I bought birthday cake and after eights and an apron (on request, I wasn't hinting she should cook more), and my sister Marie arrived with her new boyfriend (Adam). Which was interesting.
The five of us went out to a pub for dinner which went averagely well, except I had gone into a very non-talkative mood (not the snappy kind, just the quiet kind) and I'm sure Adam must think me a bit weird. Perhaps very weird. Ah well, maybe she'll get a new one? Except she's not really like that when it comes to boyfriends so I should probably attempt befriendment. I'm still not sure if I like him. He seems like a nice guy (though with his muscled build and tall stature I would not like to see him angry), but his wrist tattoo and ring concerned me somewhat... I do realise I sound snobbish but my sister is amazing and she deserves someone equally amazing. He also went out to the pub with my dad after we got home (leaving me, Marie and mum to watch Marple) and I felt really bad for him because it was like trapping a small animal... he couldn't exactly say no when my dad asked him to the pub, but then he turned to Marie and was like - "are you coming?" - aww. I decided not to go which was wise as the lounge, ergo the pool table, was shut, and I don't even know if I'm old enough to be in the bar.
Wow, a fairly long paragraph there, but it was needed. Jayne (the other sister) is home tomorrow which should be... interesting once again. Fiery temper. I think we might've hyped her up as evil to Adam and he might be a little bit afraid. I'm sure she'll be 'cordial' towards him. And probably murder the rest of us for doing tiny things wrong. She's very "particular". He'll survive. And we told him about Auntie Sarah and getting a large dinner if you call her before you visit - which interested him very much! I reiterate, he's nice enough.
In non-family news, Alice had a total meltdown about Bellie issues which got really horrible (as it turns out he's cheated on her again), but hopefully I managed to console her a little bit, and then I'm sure Lizzie will take the credit for this with some warped logic. Still haven't heard from Will *cough* dickhead *cough* and haven't spoken to Steve/Alex in a few days. Rose is having her birthday party this Friday which should be awesome and she also wants to do something for her birthday which is actually on Wednesday... I think I might actually be out more than I'm at home this week, YES!
The five of us went out to a pub for dinner which went averagely well, except I had gone into a very non-talkative mood (not the snappy kind, just the quiet kind) and I'm sure Adam must think me a bit weird. Perhaps very weird. Ah well, maybe she'll get a new one? Except she's not really like that when it comes to boyfriends so I should probably attempt befriendment. I'm still not sure if I like him. He seems like a nice guy (though with his muscled build and tall stature I would not like to see him angry), but his wrist tattoo and ring concerned me somewhat... I do realise I sound snobbish but my sister is amazing and she deserves someone equally amazing. He also went out to the pub with my dad after we got home (leaving me, Marie and mum to watch Marple) and I felt really bad for him because it was like trapping a small animal... he couldn't exactly say no when my dad asked him to the pub, but then he turned to Marie and was like - "are you coming?" - aww. I decided not to go which was wise as the lounge, ergo the pool table, was shut, and I don't even know if I'm old enough to be in the bar.
Wow, a fairly long paragraph there, but it was needed. Jayne (the other sister) is home tomorrow which should be... interesting once again. Fiery temper. I think we might've hyped her up as evil to Adam and he might be a little bit afraid. I'm sure she'll be 'cordial' towards him. And probably murder the rest of us for doing tiny things wrong. She's very "particular". He'll survive. And we told him about Auntie Sarah and getting a large dinner if you call her before you visit - which interested him very much! I reiterate, he's nice enough.
In non-family news, Alice had a total meltdown about Bellie issues which got really horrible (as it turns out he's cheated on her again), but hopefully I managed to console her a little bit, and then I'm sure Lizzie will take the credit for this with some warped logic. Still haven't heard from Will *cough* dickhead *cough* and haven't spoken to Steve/Alex in a few days. Rose is having her birthday party this Friday which should be awesome and she also wants to do something for her birthday which is actually on Wednesday... I think I might actually be out more than I'm at home this week, YES!
01/08/2008
01/08/08
Well hello August, marking 7 months of Will being a complete eejit! Fantastic (-obviously, he has yet to text me back). On the other hand, my thoughts have been turning more and more towards Alex over the last few days, initially inspired by a dirty dream but then later that day he started talking to me on msn (not something we usually do), which I took as a sign and therefore asked him out. Wait no that's not something I'd do, I did sweet fuck all.
Last night was spent calming Alice down about all of her stresses in life, which I solved by putting a positive spin on all of them, and telling her to get into her pyjamas, watch Grey's Anatomy with a hot chocolate and go to bed. I am wonderful. ("Ledgend" - I don't care that it was spelt incorrectly, it's the thought that counts).
I was supposed to be going to Birmingham with Louisa today to see The Dark Knight on IMAX (IMAX, WOO) but she could not get to the train station which very very very much annoyed me as I now have nothing to do. Also, as it's my mum's birthday on the 3rd, and my sisters (and one boyfriend) are coming home, I would have liked to have something to say, eg. I went to see The Dark Knight on IMAX and it was awesome. At the moment all I have to say is that I've been reading Bond books, Biology books, and going outside just enough so that I don't get rickets.
Steve is being a bit evasive about meeting up with me and I wonder if he is going down the same path as Will, which would be a damned shame and I will fight a lot harder for Steve if that is how it's going. I definitely need to get out more. Do some socialising before the end of summer... wow and that way I could go back to school with many many friends and be like "look at all my friends I rock". So not happening. I need to find someone to do something with this Tuesday, as thats when my mum and my sisters are going to some health spa, leaving me, my dad and my sister's boyfriend in the house together. No thankyou. Tempted to ask Alex out to town (cinema?), but am a bit afraid after we went to see Hadouken and Bell teased him and called it a man-date. Grr and Hmm. Also as my dad has decided to take 'redoing the kitchen' to a new level today, it means we have no water. Which means I am unwashed. And there is nothing more I hate in this world.
Last night was spent calming Alice down about all of her stresses in life, which I solved by putting a positive spin on all of them, and telling her to get into her pyjamas, watch Grey's Anatomy with a hot chocolate and go to bed. I am wonderful. ("Ledgend" - I don't care that it was spelt incorrectly, it's the thought that counts).
I was supposed to be going to Birmingham with Louisa today to see The Dark Knight on IMAX (IMAX, WOO) but she could not get to the train station which very very very much annoyed me as I now have nothing to do. Also, as it's my mum's birthday on the 3rd, and my sisters (and one boyfriend) are coming home, I would have liked to have something to say, eg. I went to see The Dark Knight on IMAX and it was awesome. At the moment all I have to say is that I've been reading Bond books, Biology books, and going outside just enough so that I don't get rickets.
Steve is being a bit evasive about meeting up with me and I wonder if he is going down the same path as Will, which would be a damned shame and I will fight a lot harder for Steve if that is how it's going. I definitely need to get out more. Do some socialising before the end of summer... wow and that way I could go back to school with many many friends and be like "look at all my friends I rock". So not happening. I need to find someone to do something with this Tuesday, as thats when my mum and my sisters are going to some health spa, leaving me, my dad and my sister's boyfriend in the house together. No thankyou. Tempted to ask Alex out to town (cinema?), but am a bit afraid after we went to see Hadouken and Bell teased him and called it a man-date. Grr and Hmm. Also as my dad has decided to take 'redoing the kitchen' to a new level today, it means we have no water. Which means I am unwashed. And there is nothing more I hate in this world.
26/07/2008
27/07/08
It's only like an hour after my last post, but I've just come out to Rose on msn! Which I wasn't expecting at all but she asked and I was feeling.. honest, so blergh I am currently being questioned and have just explained the whole Will thing and am now being asked if i fancy James McAvoy, Daniel Radcliffe or Johnny Depp?! (FYI yes, yes, no)
Which brings the total number of people that definitely know to 20... that's quite a few! Not to mention the ones that I am unsure about.. this is the thing with rumours, you never know how far they get!
Which brings the total number of people that definitely know to 20... that's quite a few! Not to mention the ones that I am unsure about.. this is the thing with rumours, you never know how far they get!
26/07/08
Okay so remember the wrench that I may have needed? I need it now. Lizzie has seriously, seriously pissed me off. I have rather stupidly text Will saying "Pool perhaps? x", and I am now expecting yet another rejection from him, as I make the effort to try and keep us friends and he never tries at all. So I tell Lizzie that I've text him and she really goes off on one at me. What a mistake you've made, you shouldn't've done it, blah blah blah, who cares Lizzie for gods sake, its not like I am making the situation worse, he already isn't speaking to me, it's been over six months, he should frickin' get over it and talk to me again!
GRR. Apart from that, I've had a really quite nice day, although I should have got up earlier to enjoy the sunshine more. Still reading Live and Let Die, I will finish it soon! Had a bit of outdoors time with it today (and with Bert and Ernie) which was all well and good. The only downside of this summery heat is the heat at night, which completely prevents me from getting any sleep.
Today I also talked to Louisa and her sister at length on msn, it seems Louisa is totally unavailable to do the camping thing with Beth, but we are gonna go see The Dark Knight on Friday on IMAX, WOO! I haven't seen anything on IMAX before so it should be verily awesome. On the other hand, I find out that today, Will has been mountain boarding with James. This annoys me as a)James was my friend first b) he seems to actually be doing stuff in his summer holidays and c) he is so happy and friend-ful whereas I am unhappy and friendless. Oh and also I find this out from Lizzie, who has completely infiltrated his life. So yeah. Woopee.
Will 1, Me 0.
GRR. Apart from that, I've had a really quite nice day, although I should have got up earlier to enjoy the sunshine more. Still reading Live and Let Die, I will finish it soon! Had a bit of outdoors time with it today (and with Bert and Ernie) which was all well and good. The only downside of this summery heat is the heat at night, which completely prevents me from getting any sleep.
Today I also talked to Louisa and her sister at length on msn, it seems Louisa is totally unavailable to do the camping thing with Beth, but we are gonna go see The Dark Knight on Friday on IMAX, WOO! I haven't seen anything on IMAX before so it should be verily awesome. On the other hand, I find out that today, Will has been mountain boarding with James. This annoys me as a)James was my friend first b) he seems to actually be doing stuff in his summer holidays and c) he is so happy and friend-ful whereas I am unhappy and friendless. Oh and also I find this out from Lizzie, who has completely infiltrated his life. So yeah. Woopee.
Will 1, Me 0.
25/07/2008
25/07/08
Well a lovely early morning post - Will and Lizzie got up to sweet nothing in Wales, woo! However quite frankly I'm still annoyed that they went off on holiday without me, even if me and Will in each other's presence is unbearable. Yes that's right, they're no longer the 'Cool Clique', they're STREAK (which is an acronym of their real names)... oh how included that makes me feel. How much do I want to discuss the trip with them? Not that fucking much. Do I care if it was the best summer holiday ever? No i sodding well do not. And so the predicted rubbing it in my face has begun and i am ready to strike someone down.
Oh also rather annoyingly, I am always saying to Ruth that I feel inadequate compared to Will, and she's always like no if he were better than you I would be hanging out with him, not you. So she's just been on holiday with him and they're going to Exeter and Lancaster unis for little day trips to check out the unis (something that Ruth and I had done at York). Yes, that does make me feel crappy.
However I am somewhat floundering in my own swampish despair at the moment and I am sure that others, not just I, am tired of it. Yet I seem to have trouble arranging things with people - Ruth on coffee: talk to me after the weekend, Louisa on something this weekend: no reply, Alice on coffee: be right back a second..... still waiting for you to return Alice, it's been over a day! And I really, really want to ask Will to meet me (play pool?) but at the moment I am still in petrified state, so no.
Today (well yesterday, technically) I have had a sortout and general clean so now my room is shinier than it was and that has helped calm me somewhat. My biology book has arrived at the library (so I can swot up and get into Oxford) so I can also get that at some point. And Bert and Ernie, my two cotton plants, are developing slowly but nicely - Bert is having some wilting issues but I am coaching him through it. I do possess that special ability to become completely introverted and distract myself when no one wants me. Fantastic.
Oh also rather annoyingly, I am always saying to Ruth that I feel inadequate compared to Will, and she's always like no if he were better than you I would be hanging out with him, not you. So she's just been on holiday with him and they're going to Exeter and Lancaster unis for little day trips to check out the unis (something that Ruth and I had done at York). Yes, that does make me feel crappy.
However I am somewhat floundering in my own swampish despair at the moment and I am sure that others, not just I, am tired of it. Yet I seem to have trouble arranging things with people - Ruth on coffee: talk to me after the weekend, Louisa on something this weekend: no reply, Alice on coffee: be right back a second..... still waiting for you to return Alice, it's been over a day! And I really, really want to ask Will to meet me (play pool?) but at the moment I am still in petrified state, so no.
Today (well yesterday, technically) I have had a sortout and general clean so now my room is shinier than it was and that has helped calm me somewhat. My biology book has arrived at the library (so I can swot up and get into Oxford) so I can also get that at some point. And Bert and Ernie, my two cotton plants, are developing slowly but nicely - Bert is having some wilting issues but I am coaching him through it. I do possess that special ability to become completely introverted and distract myself when no one wants me. Fantastic.
24/07/2008
24/07/08
Well it's been one of those uneventful days. Blergh. Reading 'Live and Let Die' which is pretty good, Bond books are always really readable. Oh, Abbie kissed Bell at some party or something which has upset Alice and I don't really know what's going to happen with that. I told her she should end it now because she wants to end it before uni and well.. no time like the present, especially since the present has infidelity.
Hollyoaks, yes, I am sad, but who cares - Amy pregnant, John Paul and Kieron engaged! What a great few days plot-wise! I'm currently watching some John Barrowman Why Am I Gay thing... it really annoys me to be honest, can no one see that surely there's a combination of factors? Blargh. Not much more to say really.
Hollyoaks, yes, I am sad, but who cares - Amy pregnant, John Paul and Kieron engaged! What a great few days plot-wise! I'm currently watching some John Barrowman Why Am I Gay thing... it really annoys me to be honest, can no one see that surely there's a combination of factors? Blargh. Not much more to say really.
21/07/2008
23/07/08
London last week was awesome! Saw Wicked, the sights, and the irresistible Abercrombie model at the shop's entrance ;). Not that I approve of that at all, it is quite obvious that the shop is just selling sex... but I succumbed and am now in possession of an A&F tshirt. Ate a venison burger from Borough Market, traipsed my way down Portobello Road in search of Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant, you name it, I did it (that's right, I have an Oyster card and I know how to use it!), and would definitely considering going to uni in London.
Met up with Beth and Louisa on Monday, a proper OTP reunion (Order of the Phoenix... yes, we are cool) which involved a trip to the Soup Kitchen, Starbucks, HMV and Topshop, where we saw Kenya (lovely girl) and Charlie (bitch from hell with hair extensions that scream whore and a face that screams Sunny Delight) and exchanged 'pleasantries'. Louisa's little sister was also around for a bit which was cool.
However, I am waiting anxiously for the 'Cool Clique' to return from Wales - I need to know if anything has happened between Will and Lizzie! Not that I'm sure how I'd feel about it... I don't know really, it's been that long since he spoke to me so... feelings: undisclosed. And of course Ruth will be back so I can meet up with her or something. Hmm. Oh dear I hope nothing has happened.. mainly because Lizzie will just gloat and I will want to hit her with a wrench. Not that I own a wrench. Which is probably a good thing.
Met up with Beth and Louisa on Monday, a proper OTP reunion (Order of the Phoenix... yes, we are cool) which involved a trip to the Soup Kitchen, Starbucks, HMV and Topshop, where we saw Kenya (lovely girl) and Charlie (bitch from hell with hair extensions that scream whore and a face that screams Sunny Delight) and exchanged 'pleasantries'. Louisa's little sister was also around for a bit which was cool.
However, I am waiting anxiously for the 'Cool Clique' to return from Wales - I need to know if anything has happened between Will and Lizzie! Not that I'm sure how I'd feel about it... I don't know really, it's been that long since he spoke to me so... feelings: undisclosed. And of course Ruth will be back so I can meet up with her or something. Hmm. Oh dear I hope nothing has happened.. mainly because Lizzie will just gloat and I will want to hit her with a wrench. Not that I own a wrench. Which is probably a good thing.
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